The Irish jig
by anyfoolcanknow
Summary: How I've imagined season 5 kicking off. #teamcharles
1. Chapter 1

That was by far the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. And I'm not even sure why, I loved josh but I'm not in love with him. I know he deserves happiness and I can't give it to him. But is Clare going to make him happy, she seemed like such a sweet girl when we first met but trying to use my secret against me it's changed my whole view on her. Maybe she was just jealous, he did almost propose to me. I try banish that thought but before I can I start to wonder what I would have said. I think I would have said no, I know he needs things from me that I'm not willing to do. I don't want to be a forty year old looking after a baby. I just hope he hasn't made a huge mistake.

'Liza, hey Liza.' Maggie says shoving me to get my attention. Everyone's standing as they leave the ceremony. I wipe away a tear and start to applaud along with the crowd. 'Are you okay?'

'Yes, it's for the best.' I say sincerely. Knowing it closed the door on us forever and it's somehow a relief. We walk along with the crowd and I can feel Maggies eyes on me watching every move I make. 'Maggie, I'm fine.'

I pick up my phone from the basket and we move across into the marquee where the reception will be held. It's beautiful all colourful flowers with a almost rustic barn feel to the decorations. We find our names on the seething chart and make our way to the table. We have been placed on the same table with Clare's mother. Maggie and her share a shy giggle as they greet each other. 'Will you take a photo of us please liza?' Asks Clare's mother.

'Sure no problem.' I pull out my phone to take the picture.

'No no with this.' She hands me a large cannon digital SLR camera. I take it having no idea what I'm doing and just point and shoot surprised by the quality of photo that I've just taken. 'Thankyou Liza. '

I smile as she turns to maggie and starts a deep conversation. I settle into my seat and my thoughts wander to Charles. I wonder if he's back with Pauline, that interview sure made it seem like it. His words _Strictly business_ resonate in my mind. It didn't seem like business golf, lunches, party's, and that kiss. Ugh I need a drink I stand up abruptly and head over to the bar and get myself a scotch. Before moving outside to get some air.

Men. Why is my life so complicated with men. My phone buzzes in my hand I look to see i have one message from Caitlin and then my stomach turns a missed call from Charles. Firstly I open the message from Caitlin.

*hows Ireland mum? Are you okay? Miss you. Love you. Xx*

*im fine don't worry about you old mum.*

I then listen to my message bank to see if there Charles left a message. There's nothing just a few old ones from Dianna yelling about how I've left her in the lurch. Should I call him back? Was it work related or personal. What do I want it to be... I walk back into the marquee to talk to maggie but I can't find her. She's probably off with Clare's mum. I sigh at how if I had a smige of her confidence I don't think I would be in this situation at all. And with that thought I'm dialling his number.


	2. Chapter 2 - Charles

I can't believe that happened today. I know Pauline thinks we are getting back together but I don't want that... do i? No I want Liza I've told her over and over again it's her I want why won't she just take me for my word. But this is unfair on Pauline if she thinks we still have a chance I need to end things. There's a knock on my study door. 'Come in.' I say with a bit of my frustration showing in my voice.

'Charles can we talk?' Pauline says letting herself in.

'Sure. Take a seat.' I reply. The time has presented its self I need to tell her now.

'I just want to clear thins up between us about today. I want you back I think you know that. But I never meant for that to happen, I would never want to embarrass you like that.' She pauses to see my reaction before continuing 'Charles I feel like I'm getting mixed messages or I'm reading into things I shouldn't be but I want to know. Do you want this to work,' she asks.

'Pauline I feel like I've given you the same answer over and over again. But yes you being back has confused me. I loved you so much but you broke me you left with no excuses but gone. You broke those two little girls hearts. They had no idea what happened or where you went or why. I've been keeping this family together alone while still trying to keep my company afloat. And through all that no there's nothing left here for me.' My own honest shocks me I would have usually shut down and left. 'Pauline I've met a woman who has helped me through the darkness you left behind. She has made me feel like a new man and made me feel something.' Pauline just stood there with a look of shock with anger on her face.

'So this whole time there's been someone else? Who is she? How is she okay with me staying here? Are you together, is it serious?' She fires question after question with a mixture of anger and jealousy.

'I've had feelings for her for a long time now. But no we arnt together you being here has made some complications for her.' I admit. 'She didn't want to get in between if there was a chance of us keeping our family together. But I tried to keep my distance and see if things could work out but the just won't Pauline. I don't love you anymore.' Her eyes tear up and spill over.

'I know this is my fault. And I'm so sorry to have torn this family apart. I wish more than anything that I had of spoken to you and not left the way I did.' She bows her head and wipes away her tears. I shouldn't stay here Charles, I'll leave tonight '

'Where will you go?'

'Back to my sisters tonight but I feel like maybe after this book tour I should move back to LA.' She says.

'And the girls? What are you going to say to them?' My anger shows in my voice. How could she leave then again. What is wrong with her.

'They can come stay with me.' She says with a look of defiance on her face.

'You can't take them away from me their family is here in New York, Their life, their friends.'

'We'll discusses this later, I'm not in any mood to think about all this.' She turns to leave. 'Goodby Charles. I'm so sorry.' And closes the door behind her.

Well that's the last thing she'll be doing. She will not take those girls away from me. They are my life I would give everything up for them. Sitting here stewing all I want to do is call Liza. Why is she in Ireland? Does she still love josh is that what she wants suddenly I need to know I need to be able to focus my energy somewhere. I pick up my phone and dial...

Message bank. Is she ignoring me or just busy. I start to drought a text.

*Liza I can't stop thinking about you, please call me.*

But before I send it I erase it. I don't want to look to desperate. The desperate old man, her boss chasing her when she could for all I know be in love with another man.

I need a distraction I pick up the New Yorker to get my mind of everything.

Before I know it I'm finishing the sports section and I've been reading it for almost an hour reading every arrival from fashion to Financial. And what pulls my attention away is my phone buzzing, it's to late for any work calls it must be her. I pick it up in a haste but before I know it it's stoped ringing. I look to see who called. It was Liza. My head pounding in my chest I press redial.


	3. Chapter 3 -Liza

Chapter 3 - Liza

With the second ring my channeling of Maggie confidence has died. And I panic and before the 5th ring I've cancelled the call. What would I even say, that I love home, I'm forty, I want him to leave Pauline. I can't do any of those things what's the point. My phone starts to ring and I freeze. I have to answer he must have seen I just rang. With a deep breath I gather all my confidence.

'Hello Charles.' I say but my voice shows my nerves.

'Liza, I'm glad you called me back.' His voice also showing His nerves. 'I'm not exactly sure I called. I just can't stop think about you. And I wanted to explain what happened on GMA.'

'Charles you don't need to explain.' I don't know what I want to hear.

'Please, I didn't know that was going to happen and I just panicked, they where pushing our reunion I didn't want to draw more attention to me. I can't explain how happy I was with what happened in the Hampton's it was more pleasure than I've felt in a long time. But how it ended was definitely not pleasurable. I can't stop thinking about you. I don't want to be with Pauline.' He says honestly. And his honesty catches me off guard.

'does she know that? It didn't seem like it.' Shit what did I just say. Be quiet Liza.

'She does. I've told her there is nothing and there's going to be nothing between us. But why would that matter aren't you in Ireland with josh?' He questions almost a accusation.

'Yes but josh married Clare. I'm at his reception.' I blurt out for som reason wanting him to know josh is out of the picture.

'Oh.' He says surprised.

There's music playing and I can hear the announcements of mr and Mrs starting inside the marquee.

'I'm sorry Charles but I have to go.'

'Please don't Liza. Don't leave, talk to me.' He begs.

'I'm not running. The speeches are starting I have to get back.' I say confused and slightly offended.

'Oh.. well can you we talk later? When do you get back?' He asks.

'I leave tomorrow morning and arrive in New York 11am.' What does he want me to do all him tonight? 'I'll call you when I'm back in my room. Is that okay?'

'Yes please do.'

'Okay, Goodbye Charles.'

'Have fun Liza, I look forward to your call.' He says before he hangs up.

I move back into the marquee, josh and Clare have already entered and are seated at their table I try to subtly take my seat but before I make it I trip over something and face plant it every one stops to look. Standing up quickly josh runs over to help me up. 'I'm fine, I'm fine.' I say brushing him off.

'Are you sure? That was a pretty spectacular stack.' He says with a laugh.

I laugh him off awkwardly with my head still swimming for all this Charles information. He's told Pauline, has he done that for me, for us? I make it over to Maggie without any more accidents. 'Are you okay? You look shaken.'

'I'm okay, but Charles just called.' I tell her.

'OMG what did he say? Tell me everything.' She says wanting the juicy gossip.

'I had missed a call from him during the wedding. I called him back and he told me he doesn't want to get back with Pauline and he felt pressured to say what he did on GMA.' I explain.

'What did he say on GMA?'

'He said that the Hamptons was strictly business and that pauline and him where working things out. But he said he's told Pauline there's no chance for them. I'm just worried he's done it for me and I don't know if I can give him what he wants.'

'Liza you need to stop being so tough on yourself. Stop and think about this with out thinking about other people's feelings and how they will be affected by your decisions. Where does that leave you? Do you want to be with him?' She asks.

I stop and think about this. It's hard to not consider other people's feelings I don't want to hurt anyone. But Maggie right I need to know what I want first before I can make a decision. If I take out the fact it might hurt my career and millennial. I want him, I love him. It's him. 'I love him Maggie.' I admit.

'Well there's your decision. Now I think you need to talk to Kelsey and let her know that's how you feel about him. It's not just a kiss it's more.'

'Okay thank you Maggie, what would I do with out you?' I say giving her a big hug.

'You'd probably be re-viginised by now.' Laughing we be quiet as the speeches start.

Later when I'm back in my room alone I send Charles a text.

*are you awake?*

About 2 minutes later my phone starts to ring.

'Hello'

'Mum how was the wedding, are you okay?' Asks Caitlin full of concern.

'Oh hey Caitlin, yes the wedding was nice. A simple garden wedding. But yes I'm fine so tired it was emotional but not in a bad way.'

'Okay that's good I was very worried, I know you loved him. It can't have been easy to see him marry someone else.' She points out the obvious.

'It wasn't but it's for the best. I am very tired sweetie I'm going to head to bed.'

'Okay goodnight mum, miss you'

'Love you, goodnight.'

'Love you.'

Hanging up I see I have a message from Charles.

*Yes, did you want to call still? Or are you to tired?*

*I am feeling pretty tired. It's been a day. How's things going with the book launch?*

*I could imagine. Everything's on track. Diana's not coping very well with out you... I'm not either. Why didn't you tell me you where going to Ireland?*

*No doubt she's been a nightmare. I wanted to but since the Pubbies things between us have been so distant.*

*Im sorry that's my fault. I didn't know how to deal with you knowing you didn't want to be with me. I know you where trying to be the bigger person and remove yourself from the situation. But I just wanted you to see that it wasn't a option for me. You where my choice.*

*i just want you to be happy. I'm sorry*

The phone rang. It's him.

'Hello Charles.'

'Liza please don't apologise, this isn't your fault.'

'Okay. Let's not apologise or talk about it for a while. How's the girls?'

We spoke for about 15 minutes just chit chat getting to know a little bit about him and the girls before deciding he would pick us up at the airport tomorrow so we could talk things through.

'Until tomorrow Liza.'

'Goodnight Charles.'

'Sweet dreams.'

Hanging up I fall into a dream with him on my mind I'm sure they'll be sweet.


	4. Chapter 4 -Charles

I wake up and my body is covered in sweat. I had such vivid dream, dreams of her. Just flashes of her in that Pam Pam outfit, our kiss or kisses but then it all turned bad the rejection I felt. The rejection I feel, I don't understand is it all me. Am I getting this wrong am I the only one feeling this, do I want to start this. I pulled away from her knowing I'm not right for her, but it feels so right when we are together. Round and round my thoughts go wanting her and knowing she can do better. And with that thought I get up and get in the shower.

Picking out my suit for the day I select a dark great suit and when it comes to picking a tie I linger over the tie she picked out in the department store. Should i? It's become one of my favourite ties knowing that she gave it to me and it has such pleasant memories. If today doesn't go well I don't want it to ruin that. Such a sweet memory. I decide on a light grey tie and go to get the girls ready for school.

After dropping the girls at school I head to the office. Checking my emails and arranging everything so I can meet Liza at the airport. Before I know it it's time to leave.

On the way I'm trying to figure out what I want. What do I want to happen, and all I want is for her to give me, give us a chance. And I want to kiss her again.

Do I go in? Or wait in the car. After deliberating I make the decision to meet her at baggage claim. I wait anxiously tying my hands in knots and pacing back and forth waiting to catch a glimpse of her and wondering if she feels the same. She gives me a small wave and she is with a dark haired woman. 'Hello' I grin at her.

'Hello.' She responds mirroring my smile.

'What no sign? Liza are you sure this is our driver?. Hi I'm Maggie.' She jokes, and offers me her hand to shake.

'Sorry I left it in the car.' I say shaking her hand. She seems so much older than Liza they are an odd pair. I lead them off towards the car and help them load there things in. Only exchanging a few pleasantry about the flight and weather.

'How was your trip? Did you enjoy Ireland?' I ask not sure if I want to know. I don't want to many details about josh.

'Lovely, it's a beautiful country. Very green.' She answers still nervous.

'How about you Maggie?' I ask feeling some of lizas tension starting to effect me.

'Yes so beautiful I'd forgotten how much travel can inspire you. I have so many ideas and I can't wait to start working on them.' She answers with excitement,

'Ideas? Are you a writer?' I ask.

'No no that's all Liza I'm more of a visual being. I'm a artist. Mostly painting but I love to work with all types of media. Sculpting or instigation. Anything. Whatever comes to me. And Ireland has definitely inspired me.' She says with such passion it's quite amazing.

'Your very passionate, would I have seen any of your work?' I ask intrigued.

'Have you ever been to The Paper Co. in Brooklyn? That's where I have done most of my shows.'

'Yes I have, a few times. I'll have to check you out sometime.'

'Defiantly.' She says with a smile. 'You okay liza?'

'Oh yeah, just feeling a little rundown after the flight.'

'I hope you didn't catch swine flue or something.' Maggie says with a laugh.

We are almost at there place in brooklyn and I'm not sure what to do. I need to talk to her, do I ask her to dinner, maybe a drink. We pull up and we get out I help them with their bags.

'Would you like me to help bring these up?' I ask not wanting this to be it but not sure how to ask.

'No, no I've got this. You to run along.' Maggie says and giving me a knowing look she takes lizas bag and moves towards the apartment. Liza and I just stand there looking at each other.

'Should we find somewhere and get s drink?' I ask

'Yes, sounds perfect. There's a bar around the corners.'

We head off down the street and I can't even think. What do I want from her what doesn't she want from me. All I know if that the way I feel is nothing like I have ever felt before. Taking a seat at the bar I order a scotch 'and.' I gesture to Liza.

'I'll have a gin and tonic, Thank you.' She orders.

'Liza I'm so sorry we are in this position and we have to be having these conversations. I know Pauline being here has complicated everything. But I have told you over and over again that I didn't want her. It was you that I wanted.' I admit.

'Charles like I said before. I love your girls and I don't want to be the reason that their family breaks apart.' She says her face full of worry.

'Liza you where never the issue in breaking us apart. From the beginning that was Pauline. She tore our family apart. I can't ever look at her the same.'

'It's just hard to believe that when you asked her to move in. And holding hands at the pubbies.'

'It was hard for me. Every chance you get you push me away. And then Jay, he was your date.' I say frustration brimming in my tone. 'I don't know if I've ever been more jealous. Seeing you leave with him from the book party, your photo in the paper, then him being your date. Where you trying to make me jealous?'

It was so hard seeing them together. All I wanted to do was pull her away from him. But my pride kept getting in my way. I need to learn to controls myself otherwise I'm going to loose her and I think that would be worse than when Pauline left.

'No of corse not Charles, I wouldn't do it to intentionally make you jealous. But it was nice to date someone mature and that was available and didn't have the...' she trailed off.

'The baggage. A crazy ex wife and 2 children.' I say finishing her sentence.

'It not the girls Charles. But yes Pauline is a challenge.'

'Are you still seeing him?' I question. Suddenly needing to know, my jealousy coming over me.

'No, he saw how much you affected me. He saw that I have feelings for you. But this still doesn't mean things can work out with us.' She says.

'What why? Liza I have never felt like this before.' I don't know if I've every been so emotionally honest with anyone in my life. I just wish she would stop over thinking this. I know she has feelings for me. Reaching out i grab her hand, She's trembling. 'Are you okay?' I ask worried.

'No, I'm not.' She says suppressing a sob. 'I think I've fallen for you and I know what to do.' A tear running down her cheek. Wipe it away.

'I've fallen for you to Liza.' I admit with confusion as to why this is still such a issue. I want her she wants me. Her phone buzzes. Looking at it she sighs. 'No dont run away from me again. I'm tired of that phone ruining things for me. I want you and you want me. Why isn't it just that easy!'

She stands up. 'I'm sorry I have to go.'

'No, no please Liza don't do this.'

'I'm sorry, I'll call you later.' She promises.

I watch her walk away with her promise of a call the only thing stopping me from not letting her go. Damn it! Every time.


	5. Chapter 5 - Liza

Chapter 5 - Liza

My phones buzzing and I pick it up to look, a message from Kelsey. And it brings everything back to reality. I can't do this, Charles and I can't ever be anything. I'm not 27 I'm 41 I told Kelsey I wouldn't tell him.

*hey how was Ireland? Catch up for drinks in 15? Meet at the howling owl?*

Realising that's where we are I start to panic.

'No dont run away from me again. I'm tired of that phone ruining things for me. I want you and you want me. Why isn't it just that easy!' He says with a small amount of pain and a lot of frustration showing in his voice.

Before I know it I'm standing up 'I'm sorry I have to go.'

I can't let Kelsey know that I've seen him. She could be here any minute.

'No, no please Liza don't do this.'

'I'm sorry, I'll call you later.' I promise, but I don't think I can. I can't keep his hopes up when there isn't ever going to be a chance with him. I remember Kelsey asking if we'd slept together. _Good keep it that way._ The thing is I don't want to, even if there's not a chance all I want is him. I leave the bar and head back to my apartment. Just hoping Charles doesn't linger there and Kelsey doesn't catch him.

*okay make it 30!*

I reply to Kelsey studying to give myself some more time before she heads to the bar. I decide a shower will help me calm my nerves, letting the hot water wash away my anxiety and longing.

Once I've finished in the show I quickly change and put on a bit of makeup. Heading to the bar my anxiety starts to peek again hoping that he will and won't be there at the same time. But I spot Kelsey sitting in the same chair that Charles was in earlier.

'Hey Kels.' I say giving her a hug!

'Liza! I've missed you! Omg how was it tell me everything. Are you okay?' She asks. Her need for gossip overtaken by her concern.

'I'm fine. It was a lovely wedding and they seem happy enough. Although he told her about my age.' I admit.

'He what! Really, that surprising. Well I guess they are married now so he would tell her everything.'

'Yeah that's what she said. But she almost used it as blackmail. Like if I didn't say they'd known each other for 6 months she would out me or something.'

'No way! What a bitch.' She says shocked.

'Yeah, seems like it was all orchestrated by josh though. Like he told her to ask me.'

'Hmm seems so shady of him. Any what how was Ireland though, did you get to see much?'

'Yes it's a beautiful country. I saw GMA how did that happen?'

'Ughhhh!' She says rolling her eyes. 'Zane! He is a nightmare, he told the producer CeCe to do it. And then had the nerve to tell me he helped me. I am a boss I don't need no man to save me. He is terrible but I think Charles saw that.' She says with a sassy head wobble.

'Yes I don't think after what he has done I could ever trust him. Do you know if he has a clothing allowance at empirical?' I wonder.

'Ha. He better not! If he gets one and you're not even a editor yet.. complete bull.'

'Yeah, so I wanted to talk to you about something.' I say nervously.

'What's wrong liza you seem worried.' She says with concern.

'Well, I know you told me to stay away from Charles. But I just wanted to tell you that it wasn't just a kiss for me.' I admit

'Liza you cant. Wait what do you mean more than just a kiss you said you didn't sleep with him.' Says Kelsey. 'What's happening, what happened.'

'Well there has always been something between us. We connect on a level that I have with anyone before. He kissed me jn the department store and then asked me to meet him but it was the night Dianna was drunk at that show tune bar.' I explain. 'He got offended and started dating Rada and I was still with josh.. but when he kissed me in the Hamptons I knew there was more to us than just a kiss.'

'More than a kiss you keep saying that. What does that mean? Do you like him? Love him?' She enquirers.

'I don't know but I know if I want to find out I'll have to tell him my secret.' I say with hope that she'll understand.

She looks at me with worrie in her face. 'Okay Liza, if you really think that he's is worth it then okay tell him your secret. I just want you to be happy.'

'Thanks Kelsey I don't know if I'm 100% ready to tell him everything yet but I would really like to explore what we could be. I know we have a lot of the same interests and I think I could be happy with him, someone old enough he wouldn't want any children.' I say with a laugh at how true that one face is. It would be a safe bet he doesn't want more children.

'You never know, he might want more with you. You're sort of a milf Liza!' She adds.

'Milf? What's that?' I ask confused.

'Really, sometimes you can show your age so easily.'

'Hey, what is it?' I ask offended.

'Google it.' She laughs. 'Hey do you think maybe we should tell Lauren your secret? I think she wouldn't take it well, well at least better than I did.'

'I think maybe we could. Maybe we could use her as practice if I decide to tell Charles.' We laugh both trying to imagine her reaction.

Moving away from more serious think we talk about the wedding and how Kelsey's love life's going. We chat for about a hour and I head home to talk things over with Maggie.

Maybe I should find out more about him before I jump back into telling him everything. We don't know a huge amount abut each other. Just boss and employee and maybe a few little added extras. With this conclusion I decide to send him a message.

*Im sorry I left in such a rush, but when I'm around you I can't think straight.*

Almost instantaneously I receive a message.

*liza I know you where upset when you left but can you please call me when you can. I can't think of anything. Please.*

His message practically begging me to call him. But know I'm not going to be able to be as honest I wait to see if he'll respond to my message.

*i know the feeling.*

His response short but truthful. Mustering up all my guts I type the message I really need to send.

*please excuse me doing this over text message but I don't know if I could ask you to your face. But what do you want from me? What exactly would be our end game?*

Hitting send I instantly regret my direct questions. I wait what feels like a eternity regretting everything I've ever done in my entire life. Walking up the stairs to the apartment slowly wanting to know his reply before I see maggie. And the ping of a message I stop till on the stairs to read his reply.

*I want to get to know you, I've never been so interested or attracted to someone before. I believe we are a perfect match in so many ways. I just hope you feel the same.*

With a sigh of relief I stat walking up the stairs and enter the apartment. I look around wanting but at the same time not wanting Maggie's advice on the days events. She isn't anywhere she must have gone to sleep.

Deciding I should call him I go into my room. Sitting in the bed I dial his number. He answers almost instantly.

'Liza,' he says relieved.

'Charles.' I respond.


	6. Chapter 6 - Charles

**Sorry about all the random underlining i write them on my iPhone and it's been doing some weird stuff.**

Chapter 6 - Charles

Waiting for her response is pure agony. I want her to feel the same, I need her to. She is everything I want in a woman. But she's 27 and I'm well old. I understand her hesitation, and I know I have to understand is she doesn't feel the same. I can't react like I did after the kiss last time. Her reaction was hard to watch _are you_ _okay with me?_ She asked worries that I was upset with her. What's taking her so long... and as that thought enters my mind my phone starts to ring.

'Liza.' I answer, my relief evident in my voice.

'Charles.' She replies.

'I'm glad you called, I know I can be intimidating. I'm sorry.'

'No don't be it's more that I just get muddled in trying to make sure I'm not putting my foot in it.'

'So, what do you think?' I ask once again with concern.

'I know that I feel something for you Charles but theres just so many complications' she says and I just feel that this isn't going well. 'But I want to get to know you. And not just as my boss. '

'Thank god... I want to know more about you to.' I say smiling.

'So how should we do this?' She asks 'should we play 20 questions?' She says with a laugh.

'You start, Why don't you ask me something?' I say promoting her to go first.

'Ahhh, Okay... What's your favourite colour.'

'Starting off with a hard one, purple.' I say thinking of the tie that she picked out for me and how it's become my favourite. 'Okay, what's your favourite book?'

'Hey, now that is a hard one! I know it's a bit of a silly one, but the Harry Potter series.'

'Not silly they are great books, I'm reading them to my girls at the moment, why are they your favourite?' Is ask curious.

'They just are so full of imagination that just brings you into the mind of a child, and I love how the storey grows with you.' She express. It's so true and honest the perfect answer.

'Okay So your turn?' I say.

'What's your favourite place in the world? I'm sure your well traveled.

'My favourite place would have to be Greece, I visited a few islands when I was younger and they are just so picturesque and full of interesting people and places.' I answer and it's coming so naturally I start to feel less Nervous as we continue. 'Have you traveled much?' I ask

'Is that your question?'

'Yes' I laugh

'Okay so I've been to the Bahamas, italy, France and Spain. I love the history in the European countries. I would love to see Greece.'

'I would love to take you.' Before I knew it the words where out of my mouth. That was a bit forward, just offering to take her on a holiday, way to scare her off. 'Okay your turn.' I fill the silence and prompt her to continue.

'Ahhh Okay, let me think. What's your our favourite movie?' I ask

'Back to the hard stuff.' I kid. 'Shawshank redemption don't now why but whenever it's on I have to watch it. I remember you saying your dad is a teacher in New Jersey but is that where you grew up?'

'Yes I went through my schooling at the same school that he taught at. Most embarrassing time of my life. Not to mention the perm I had!' She laughs.

'Perm what year did you graduate 1985?' I laugh confused. 'And where did you go to college?'

'Ahh.. Dartmouth.' She says quickly like she's hiding something. 'What made you go to Princeton?' She asks quickly like she's trying to turn the heat off her.

'My whole family have gone there. I didn't really get a choice in the matter.' I say honestly. 'Are you okay Liza you seem distracted.'

'I'm fine, your question.' She says hastily.

'Okay.' I say not convinced. 'Why didn't you meet me that night at the Carlyle?' And before I know it the question I've been dying to know the answer of is out of my mouth.

'Oh. Umm. I did come... but when I arrived I got a message from Kelsey and she needed my help so I had to leave.' She says.

'Really. This whole time I just thought you never showed up. Why didn't you tell me.' I ask

'I tried. You blew me off. _It was just a kiss Liza._ ' She says that growing my words back at me. 

'Wow. I wish I wasn't so proud. But you got back with josh?' I ask knowing it's not my question but wanting to know more.

'Well you where so cold to me after the kiss. I assumed you'd moved on. And you had with Rada. But josh and I broke up over something he did and he came and apologised and wanted another chance. So I gave him one.'

'I never moved on Liza. Rada was just a distraction.' I omit.

'Why did you guys break up?' She asks asking me the question I didn't want to answer.

'Well it was when you where in the car accident. I got the call when I was meant to be out with her and I needed to make sure you where alright and she told me it was you or her. I need to know that you where okay so I came to see you.'

'Oh wow I'm sorry I didn't mean for that to happen.' She says but it's a bit to cheerful.

'Liza you have nothing to apologise for. She had made it clear you where a issue for her but I never understood why.' I say 'but I when I did visit you in the hospital you started to tell me something but you drifted off before you could, do you remember what it was?'

'Hmmm. Not really it's all a bit of a blur. I think maybe to just tell you that the kiss meant something to me. It wasn't just a kiss.' She says shyly.

'I wish you could have finished.'

'I don't know if it would have helped us back then. I was with josh. Although I guess that didn't stop me in the Hamptons.' She says regretfully.

'I'm sorry I kissed you.'

'I think you have it all wrong Charles. I kissed you.' She says.

'I guess you did. That was one of the best nights of my life. Aside from the midnight meeting at my office.' I don't know where this confidence is coming from. This is so unlike me to tell her how I'm actually feeling. Deciding I like where this is going I get up to get myself a scotch to help me on this path.

'I'm not sure I have the same feelings about that night. I prefer the night before. Oh shit I shouldn't have said that.' She says embarrassed.

'What happened the night before?' I asked Confused.

' I think it's my question.' She states obviously trying to ovaid the question.

I laugh. 'Okay go ahead.'

'What do you do for fun?'

'Ohh... I guess I like to water ski. I have a boat and I love to take the girls up and a few friends. It's good fun.'

'Oh that's interesting. I've never skied before.'

'I might be able to take you sometime.' There I go again offering to take her somewhere. Although I would love to show her how to ski. 'Anyway it's back to my question. What happened the night before our midnight meeting.'

'Ahh I knew you wouldn't let this go! Ahhhhhhh I just had a really nice dream. That's all don't look to much into it. My turn. Who thought you to ski?'

' a nice dream hey.. I'm not going to let that go either... my dad. He was big into water sports as a family get away. What happened in this dram of yours?' I ask wanting to know so badly.

' nope. Nope not happening ask another question.' She demands

'Ahhh fine.' I decide to let it go. 'Can we meet up tonight Liza. I can come get you? I need to see you.' We can continue this in person?'

'Charles. I don't know. I'm really enjoying getting to know you but I know I want more and I don't think that's such a great idea.'

'Why Liza. Why isn't it such a good idea. I know this is what I want, you are amazing.' I say showing my frustration.

'Charles. I haven't been 100% honest with you and I don't know if I can be. I can't blow my life up until I know.'

'What is it what's so bad that you can't tell me. Please trust me.'

'I don't think you'll be able to look at me the same if you know.'

'You always seem to be holding something back and then trying to to tell me something at the same time. Wouldn't it just be easier to be honest.'

' I'm not the only one that this would affect I have people to think about with this. I owe you a lot but I also need this job.'

'Nothing you tell me will jeopardise you job Liza I'm not that unprofessional. I won't let our personal lives interfere with our work'

'I want to tell you so badly. I just can't though.'

'Please. Trust me. Please.' I beg.

'I have to go.' She says.

'No liza. Stop running away from us.' I say sternly.

'Okay. Let me talk to Maggie and I'll call you back?' She asks.

'As long as you promise to call me back.'

'I promise.' She says and hangs up.

I don't understand what it could be. Is she married? No she's to young. Maybe she isn't who she says she is. There does always seem to be something she isn't telling me.

I sit and wait...


	7. Chapter 7 - Liza

Chapter 7 - Liza

What am I thinking I'm up and down like a yo-yo. Tell him, don't tell him. I need to make this decision. I need Maggie's advice. So I head out to the kitchen to see if she's up. She isn't so I like my head in her room to see if she's up. She is very unladylike spread across the bed with her eye mask on and her mouth hanging open. I slowly leave, I'll wait for her to wake up and try get my own thoughts in order. I lay down on the couch and before I know it the long day takes me into the depths of sleep.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

I wake with a start dazed and confused. What was that I wonder.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

Waking up I realise it's some one at the front door. Possibly Caitlin. Walking over I open the door. 'Caitlin?' I ask opening the door and look up into piercing blue eyes. 'Charles.' I exclaimed surprised.

'You never called me back. I couldn't stop thinking about you I had to see you and work this out.'

I stand aside to let him in. 'I'm sorry I wanted to talk with Maggie and I fell asleep on the couch.'

He stops in the hallway. Taking my face in his hands and says 'liza I'm done chasing you. I know you are what I want regardless of what ever you are hiding from me. You can tell me or tell me when you're ready but I'm not going to let anything keep ya apart any more. No ex-wives, no egos, no proposals, no janitors. It's you and me.'

And before I know it his lips are on mine. And my hands make my way into his hair folding our selves into each other I know that this is the man for me. I will tell him and soon but for now I can't help but let this play out. He lifts me up and starts to carry me I pull away from him to direct him to my bedroom. Half placing half throwing me on the bed we are furiously kissing wanting more and more of each other. I start to lift his shirt off over his head. And move my hands down his well toned body. He rolls me over so I am I top before taking my top off and rolling be back over. Both of us giggling like we are in our twenties. Little does he know. And with that thought my mood changes to guilt.

'You're so beautiful liza.' He says kissing down my body.

'You're the perfect man.' I say with a hint of anxiety in my voice. 'I wish I had of met you years ago.'

'What when ou where in college and I was married?' He laughs stopping to stare at me.

'Something like that.' I say.

'Always so cryptic, just hints into that secret of yours.'

'You'll leave if you know.'

'Why would you say that?' He lays next to me and runs his hand down my face.

*Knock knock knock*

'Oh shit!' I scuttle up out of his arms and start to put my top back on. And Charles audibly sighs. 'You stay here' I say holding my hands up to him.

'Okay' He says Confused.

Running to the door I open it to find Caitlin.

'Welcome home!' She exclaimed and pulls me into a hug. 'How was it, are you sad?' She says all very fast just like Kelsey would.

'No not sad very happy to see that he's moved on to a happier chapter in his life.' I say honestly.

'Blah blah blah... your such a mom sometimes. Where's Maggie? I'm hungry do you have any food?'

'Maggie's asleep and probably not. do you want to go grab something?' I ask wanting to get her as far away from this apartment as possible.

'Ughhhh. I guess. What do you feel like?' She asks

'I don't care.' I spit flustered glancing at my room then back at Caitlin. 'I just need to get something from my room. I'll be back in a sec.'

Blabbering on about the wedding Caitlin starts to follow me. 'No you wait here.' I say forcefully.'

'Mom. Oh. Do you have someone in there?' She asks.

'Uhhhh... yes.' I say embarrassed and confused.

'I can go?' She says.

'No just give me a second.' I say. And walk into my room to face him. He is staring at me with shock horror.

'Mom?' He asks confused.

'Yes. I guess my secret is out.' I say embarrassed.

'Wow. How old is she?' He asked.

'She is 18.' I admit.

'18! What, how old are you then?' I ask.

'I'm 41.'

'41. 41 not 27? Why?' He asks.

'I needed a job, Caitlin was finishing school and her dad gambled all his money away and I needed to pay for her school. So I tried to get a job but I'd taken a break from working to raise her so no one would give me a job. Then one night someone at a bar mistook me for 26 so maggie had the crazy idea to change my age on my job application to get a job. And well... it worked.' I say barley breathing.

'Wow. I guess I always thought you where old for your age. You never seemed like you where 26. So do you need to leave.' He gestured to the door.

'Ahh yes. Do you mind?' I ask?

'No I could use a moment to think all this over.' He admits.

'I told you it would change how you feel about me.' I say struggling to hide the sadness in my voice.

'Liza. No.' He says tipping my chin up to look at him. 'But this is a shock. There's a lot to think about and for you to explain.'

'Okay.' I smile. And he l and down and kisses me. First softly but slowly leaning into it.

'Do you want to go first?' He asks.

'Oh yes I guess. Until I see you again.' I say squeezing his hand. And he smiles.

Leaving the room I grab my purse and Caitlin and leave before she says anything else.

'Who was it mum? Wait I don't want to know.' She says in one breath.

'Haha no one you know. Just a friend. But I hope it could be more but it's all very complicated.' I say with a awkward laugh.

'of corse it is you overthink everything. It's probably very simple.' She criticises.

'Ouch.'

'Am I wrong?'

'I guess not.' I say.


End file.
